In brainstorming for this post I thought I’d be all cutesy and have one part called, “Why I left Christianity,” and then another called, “Why I stuck with Christianity.” But do I really need to outline why I left? All it takes is a quick glance at the news to see that my faith family of origin, evangelical Christians, have traded any semblance of Christ-following for nation worship. I don’t need to explain the ways evangelicalism has become known for supporting racism, misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia, etc. etc. etc. There has been enough damning evidence out there that I do not feel the need to defend my choice to walk away.
But why do I stick with Christianity? Why do I still choose to engage with the church or find importance in the structure and community of religiosity? These are questions worth
And here’s the answer: I don’t know.
That’s the honest truth.
Maybe this is the form of togetherness that I am most familiar with. Maybe the language of my soul still communicates best through liturgy and theology. Maybe I still find value in a story that preaches Love above all else.
Or maybe not. I really don’t know.
Here’s what I do know:
If I put Love above all else, I will not regret it. If I hold things loosely, there is more room for growth and change. If I admit that I know nothing concretely, I have everything to gain.
I know that goodness can be found in the most unlikely places; that what I once considered profane only appeared so because I could not see clearly enough to find the sacred.
I know that power is a facade for fear of
I know that if I make space in my life for what is true, I will know both gut-wrenching pain alongside soul-bursting joy.
We are here for good.
We are here for Love.
This is my creed. This is what I know in my deepest being.
If I can hold this knowing and still be welcomed by Christianity, then here I am. And if I cannot be welcomed, there I will go.
So, for now, I stay.
