First, some clarification: I have many fucks to give about many things. My friends and family. Pursuing justice. Women’s rights. Racial equality. The un-heteronormatization of our society. School/the degree I’m working on. There are so many important things to give a fuck about.
Then what, you might ask, is the purpose of this post? Well, let me tell you.
I’ve spent my whole life caring way too much about what other people think. Wondering if my choices make other people happy. Constantly terrified of judgment. Worrying that someone will not like me. Adjusting (read: ignoring) my own desires to provide someone else the fulfillment of theirs. Making myself small so that others can feel better about themselves. Basically giving all the fucks about everything to the detriment of my own being.
Is it wrong to care about other people above and beyond yourself? Not always. But that whole, love your neighbor as yourself thing? You’ve got to love YOURSELF well in order to love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. And I do love myself. In fact, I give a lot of fucks for myself.
So that’s where I’m at. I am ready to make 2018 the first year that I care more about myself than what other people think or say about me. It’s time to remove the filter, the persona, the mask. I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. You can agree with me or not, you can approve of my behavior or not, but I am ready to not care. Unfriend me, unfollow me, pray for me, tell me I’m making a mistake – do whatever you need to do. I’m me unapologetically and you can talk about me all you want, but that won’t change.
I’m 35 years old and it’s taken me until now to say all this. And it feels so fucking good.
