Normally I wait til halfway through the blog post to get to the good stuff, but not today. Yes, you’re reading the title correctly.
Yes, I’m coming out as bisexual.
Yes, National Coming Out Day was last Wednesday, but what can I say? I’m a 4.
If I were trying to get into the head of you, the reader of this post, then I would assume you may be thinking one (or more) of the following:
- Why would she bother to tell anyone when she’s married to a man?
- Is she making an announcement?
- Are they getting divorced?
- Does she have a secret female lover?
- Does this mean she had/has a crush on me?
- What will they tell the children?
- Does this mean the Amy I knew/know was a lie?
*Note: here are the answers.
- I’ll answer that below.
- No, other than coming out publicly.
- Negative.
- Definitely no.
- Don’t be so presumptuous!
- We’ll tell them their mom is bisexual and that it’s normal and awesome.
- Nope, same person I’ve always been.
So why bother? What do I gain from coming out as bi when I already have a husband and two kids? I gain ME. I get to breathe in and out all the way. I don’t have to hide anymore. I get to be part of a conversation that’s important and not uncommon. I don’t have to live in a state of fear that someone might “find out” when I’m not ready for them to know. I take a step toward Learning to Be. Just be, as I am, without pretending.
I may, at some point, write more about what it’s been like to fully understand and accept my sexuality and the ways that I am unique and the ways that I am the same as other individuals who identify as bisexual. But I won’t be doing that today. Nor am I here to defend my sexual orientation to those who disagree. You don’t get to disagree with who I am any more than I get to disagree with who you are. Today is about being me, unapologetically.
So, this is me. I’m bisexual. I love who I am. I have a husband who loves me as I am. I have friends and family who love me as I am. And isn’t that what this life is about? Love yourself, love others. Consider this a declaration of self-love.
